Foxie Deals with Grief

Foxie’s mom and dad had often taken her to visit her grandmother who lived nearby in a nursing home. Foxie never really liked to go there because all the different smells and sounds made her uncomfortable. However, she did enjoy spending time with her grandmother and getting to talk to her was something Foxie tried not to take for granted since she knew many of her friends did not have grandparents. 

Foxie’s grandmother would always tell her stories about when she was younger. Foxie’s grandmother would also always give her these soft peppermint candies that she could chew on and Foxie liked them lots. Foxie loved to tell her grandmother all about her friends and about what she was learning in school. Foxie’s grandmother loved to listen to Foxie and would always praise her for her hard work.

Foxie never understood why her grandmother had to live in the nursing home instead of in a house or with her family. Foxie didn’t understand why her grandmother needed help to get around. 

Foxie’s mom explained it to her in a way that didn’t super make sense to Foxie, saying, “Grandmother is a very old fox, and she has trouble doing things like walking, seeing, hearing, and even going to the bathroom. And, since your father and I both work, there would be nobody at home to take care of her during the day. But we can visit her in the nursing home whenever you would like.”

Foxie accepted that, but she felt bad for her grandmother. She wondered if her grandmother ever got lonely or bored living there. But one day, when Foxie’s mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner, the phone rang. Foxie’s mom answered it and put it on speaker as she usually did when the nursing home called, so that Foxie’s dad could hear as well. Foxie was in the living room; she was just barely in earshot to hear what was being said.

“Hello, this is the family of the fox resident in room 104?”

“Yes, this is her daughter and her son-in-law. Is everything alright?” Foxie’s mom seemed concerned. Foxie turned down the volume on the television so she could hear better.

“It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that your mother passed away peacefully in her sleep last night.”

Silence fell heavy over the house. Foxie felt a lump in her throat and sadness overtook her. She stopped listening to the conversation as she was afraid of what else she may hear. She tried to hold it in, but eventually she began to cry. She must have cried louder than she thought she had, because her father came into the room and sat beside her. He opened his arms and allowed for Foxie to cuddle up to him. As she buried her face into her father’s chest, she began to cry harder. She felt safe with her father, but she felt so sad that she didn’t know what to do. Foxie had never felt this level of sadness before. 

A few minutes later, Foxie’s mom came into the room and sat on the other side of her. She held her hand and cried silently with Foxie. Foxie’s dad offered support to the girls. 

“It’s going to be okay. She is in a better place now,” Foxie’s mom whispered through the tears, although Foxie had a hard time believing her.

Suddenly, Foxie felt angry. She was mad but not sure about why or what she was mad at. She just knew that her sadness had turned into fury. She pulled away from her father and mother and said, “No! This can’t be! She can’t pass away! This is not how it has to happen!” She felt defensive and upset in a new way.

Foxie’s mom hugged Foxie against her will and said, “shh… Foxie, sweetie, it will be okay. I promise.”

“It will not be okay!” Foxie pulled away and ran to her room.

Foxie’s parents went to tell Foxton, Foxie’s older brother, and let Foxie deal with her emotions in her room alone for a while. Then, eventually, Foxie’s parents came into her room and sat with her on the bed. Foxie had somewhat calmed down, so they tried to keep it that way. 

“Foxie, grandmother was very old. She was ready to go home to heaven. And, it’s okay to feel sad or even angry about this. We are here for you and we will always be here for you. Your emotions are valid, and I want to help you express them in a healthy way. Okay?”

Foxie nodded and then asked if she could go to bed early this evening due to being extra tired. Foxie’s parents tucked her in and assured her that it was going to be okay. Foxie fell asleep as her mom wiped the last few tears off her cheeks. 

“Good night, Foxie, we love you,” Foxie’s dad whispered as he closed the door and let Foxie sleep.